What a beautiful question. Thank you Padraig. Three things this week come to mind.
1. Preparing to visit a family after the unexpected death of their brother, a young man. I breathe and listen as I get the information from the funeral director and I take notes. I breathe again. I find out how many people will come to the meeting and who they are. 20. It's not usual to have that many people for a first meeting with a celebrant to discuss what rituals and ceremony are being called for. I welcome this 'grief circle' because this is how I imagine I can connect with so many folk. I create an outline, the words I will use to introduce myself. I hear whispers in the background of my mind. What will I say? How will I be with this family? What if it gets out of control? I breathe again. I offer myself self empathy. I check in for the shared needs that I imagine are present. Mourning. Safety. Connection. Understanding. I go gently with myself and trust I will know what to say. I will listen and guide and listen some more.
2. As I prepare to guide a mediation within a small company, I breathe as I start the preparations for the meeting by listening and offering empathy (both silent and spoken) to the key individuals. I note the points of connection that might become possible and the needs that I witness as being present both met and unmet needs. When I feel unsettled, I offer my concerned Wendy: self empathy. I hold myself close. I remind myself I am here to listen, to facilitate, to trust. I take time to listen to my own inner guidance of what I sense will be the best path forward within the skill base that I think we will all bring into the mediation circle.
3. Before my two grandchildren, 7 and 10, come over for the weekend... I breathe. I prepare by ensuring I have food in the house and their beds made. I rest up. I connect with my intention to play and hang out and to provide a safe place. I breathe a lot. This weekend, I was pushed and found a tired grandma lurking not too far beneath the surface. Sometimes that happens no matter how much I prepare. Best then to breathe, and call in grandpa support!
In this precious life how do I prepare?
Breathe mindfully... often, everyday.
Practice self empathy so I can live into the hard moments.
Practice deep listening and empathy with a sense of curiosity, an intention to connect, mindful presence, awareness of needs....
Connect with a friend.
Trust the sacredness of each moment... and don't take it all too seriously. Love.
