Another story from my book, "Donald's Vanity Tantrums" that will hopefully be unsold after November electons:

Falling into the Wrong Arms

The country had a relatively stable eight years under Barack Obama, not perfect but there was economic growth. However the aftermath of the Bush wars opened the doors of hell and the laws of unintended consequences dominated.

And it came to pass that as a new election neared in 2016, a creature walked to the stage to suspend reality and make enough voters believe that he would lead the nation to wealth and weapons for all.

Cajoled by this socially mangled, misanthrope who has perfected the fine art of the lie, bigotry and unfair tax relief for the wealthy, they naively followed this most foul leader off the cliff.

Wait. What am I doing here? Am I trying to present a logical reason why someone would not vote for Trump? That’s totally insane. That’s almost as insane as voting for Trump! Plus, having to go through all that socio-economic, psychological, and historical crapola is about as interesting as a Xarelto commercial. So, I’m going to reveal the cause of the disease that I am dubbing, “Trump Voterism” or simply, “TV”: a vicious parasite, mutated by toxins now allowed into our air, water and food by Trump’s relentless attempt to kill all of us by loosening our environmental regulations.

Not only does that explain the phenomenon, it also sets the stage for an entirely new series of blockbuster movies, all based around these parasitic mutants. Think The Purge meets Invasion of the Body Snatchers meets Citizen Kane meets Tremors.

There, can we move on to examining why people do other stupid things, like falling off a cliff while taking a selfie?