Someday, if there is any justice left in this world, you'll be on the wrong side of the awesome power of government, and when they tell you we're going to charge you with 93 counts of nonsense, and even if you're proven innocent after a multi-year ordeal, you'll be bankrupted defending yourself. But if you just sign this teensy-weensie little confession here, all of that goes away.

Then we'll see how you respond.