You are a loving partner. Although her coming out was likely hard, you have provided her (and yourself, and your children if you have any) the gift of a lifetime: truth and compassion. What a lightbulb moment re: the alcohol addiction! Re: the transphobes (no matter the political party), I pray often they will experience and be enlightened by a close family member's coming-out: An adored grandchild, niece or nephew, a sibling, wife or husband. And that they are rewarded by realizing the truth of this person as a human, and not merely someone who must fit into a neat, tidy gender box. And yes, that they feel shame attached to their public humiliation of people who are different, and who have suffered greatly, and ultimately come around to acceptance and get on with a compassionate life of acceptance.