Our son turned 16 this week and just got his driver’s license. It’s a crazy milestone, and I can’t believe we reached it so fast!

He’s a teenage boy who still sometimes says and does stupid things, but he’s kind, compassionate, creative, funny, and turning into a fine young man I am so proud of. This is all context for the story I’m about to share.

We live in Missoula, a college town in Montana. Our son is biracial, half black, half-Latino. We moved here when he was 2, and he’s rarely (if ever) encountered any racism. Even when he attended school in a more conservative community further north teeming with Trump voters, he never reported feeling unwelcome or uncomfortable. If he were going to experience racism anywhere in the state, I would have expected it to be there.

Recently, I’ve come to realize that racism is alive and well in Montana — just not in the way one might expect. Our family has come face-to-face with what I believe to be the most prevalent and insidious form of racial discrimination now: neoracism.

Neoracism doesn’t involve ugly slurs or “systemic oppression” that anti-racist advocates bemoan. It relies on stereotypes thoughtlessly perpetrated by people who’ve gone all-in on diversity, equity, and inclusion — people who would rather be accused of committing murder than being a bigot. What makes this rebranded racism so deceptive and dangerous is that it’s practiced by many people in positions of power and authority now: the clueless, “noble” racists.

A few weeks ago, we received a terse email from the principal of our son’s high school informing us that he violated the recently revised dress code prohibiting students from wearing bandanas. The dress code was apparently revised in response to “rising gang issues.”

I was stunned. A town of less than 78,000 in Montana had become a hotbed of gang activity? Was there a Tren de Agua situation in our backyard?

I was also confused because our son doesn’t even wear bandanas; he wears buffs. And his buffs serve a specific purpose: they allow him to adopt a culturally-specific hairstyle. He has dreadlocks, and they tend to droop over his eyes. So he uses a buff to push his curls up over his forehead.

The new dress code was also puzzling because we receive a stream of emails from administrators assuring parents of the school’s pledge to make all students feel “safe,” “welcomed,” and “included.” How did this new dress code square with that commitment? Wasn’t there a better way to address this “rising gang” issue while still being culturally sensitive?

Our son was frustrated and upset because he couldn’t make sense of any of it. He claimed that there had not been any gang-related violence at his school. (Administrators later confirmed there has not been any gang violence, and the dress code was revised “preemptively”). Our son also claimed that other kids wear bandanas without a problem.

My partner and I went back and forth with administrators for a week and finally got them to admit that they are really concerned with certain bandanas of certain colors and patterns.

Exhausted, we decided to let the matter drop and spent $75 to purchase more “neutral,” conforming replacements.

We didn’t think about this nonsense again until yesterday when our son’s best friend (who is white) came to our house. We asked him what he thought of the “no bandana” rule, and he said he wears them and administrators don’t hassle him.

I was stunned. “Seriously? What about all the concern about gangs?”

Our son’s friend laughed and said, “There’s no gang stuff. They only hassle kids of color. They never bother anyone else who wears bandanas.”

So, it seems administrators who are obsessed with “diversity and inclusion” assume that kids of color are in gangs and treat them accordingly. Yet these same people would swear up and down that they aren’t racist.

The hypocrisy absolutely slays me.

This is the real racism in America, and we can’t fix it as long as faux-progressives lack any sense of self-awareness and refuse to be honest with themselves about their own prejudices and how they impact the people they claim to want to help.