I agree partially, especially if The aim here is to have a mediocre relationship or get laid. But deep seated differences in values will surface sooner or later and will make raising kids and harmonious relationships hard(er). I’m not talking here about opinions on taxes, but much more important differences in moral foundations. I’ve seen this play out a lot. And some people really don’t wanna settle for this - I certainly wouldn’t.

The argument that women often adopt men’s values if they respect them is true and I know what Richard is talking about. But it tends to be somewhat skin-deep or technical in nature. There’s a lot of the reverse going on, too, where women set the moral tone of the household - or at least that’s what I’ve seen over and over regardless of how much respect there was for the husband. If that is off then I think ur gonna have a hard time raising kids together.

I think a lot of these complaints are downstream of the fact that, for better or worse, a lot of people, especially those who feel rewarded in their careers, would rather not settle down for a mediocre relationship. They want more than just someone to have kids with. Men also don’t have so much biological clock pressure, so why do it? Relationships are hard as they are. Adding deep diffs in values further complicates things.

It’s a shift in how we conceive of relationships imo - we see them less in a traditional consequentialist manner and more as an intrinsic source of fulfilment. Again, for better or worse.