Les Wonderhammer,
Petty Nemesis extraordinaire
He’s not strong
He’s not smart
He procrastinates
Let’s peak in on what stupid thing he is doing today…
(Camera drops down from a focus on the fluffy clouds to the fifth floor picture window of an old brick apartment building)
Once upon a time in a small, quiet town along the Mississippi lived Les Wonderhammer. Les was a peculiar character, often described as the "Petty Nemesis Extraordinaire." He wasn't strong, nor particularly smart, and he had an uncanny knack for procrastination.
One sunny Tuesday, when most people were busy working or going about their daily chores, Les decided it was the perfect day for something incredibly... silly. He woke up, stretched lazily, and grinned mischievously to himself as an idea began to hatch in his mind.
Today, Les would embark on a secret mission to mildly inconvenience his arch-enemy, Betty the Baker.
After dressing in his finest (and only) superhero costume, Les left his small, stale apartment with a spring in his step. He marched confidently toward Betty's bakery, formulating his plan along the way.
Upon arriving at the bakery, Les slipped unnoticed into the back alley. He stealthily approached the large green trash bins, took a deep breath, and began moving the black trash bags ever so slightly out of their usual positions. A few inches here, a few inches there, just enough to disrupt Betty's routine when she came to take out the trash later that day.
Satisfied with his dastardly devious deed, Les wiped his bushy brow and walked back toward the front of the bakery. He entered the cozy shop, where the aroma of freshly baked bread and pastries greeted him. Betty stood behind the counter, unaware of the scheme that had just unfolded.
"Good morning, Les," Betty said with a warm smile. "The usual croissant and coffee for you today?"
“Yes, please,” Les murmured, cautiously glancing at the other patrons seated at the counter.
Betty pored his warm, weak coffee into a plastic cup, stirring in three teaspoons of sugar along with a quarter cup of creamer.
“Here you go Les, one coffee and croissant as ordered” Betty said.
Les returned the smile, feeling a twinge of guilt. "Thank You” he replied, knowing that his actions would soon cause his unsuspecting enemy a moment of confusion and frustration.
As Les savored his flaky croissant and sipped his tepid coffee, he couldn't help but feel a mix of pride and shame. Perhaps his antics were a bit foolish, and maybe he could be putting his talents to better use.
Still, Les Wonderhammer knew that deep down, he was just a simple man trying to make his mark on the world - one mild inconvenience at a time.
Prompt by David Lindmeier
Words by pi.ai 5/29/24