On nobody wanting a village:
I just finished this six-week cooking class.
This small business did a wonderful job at putting together a great, organic way for strangers to have the sort of low-pressure, repeated contact that’s been shown to be the most effective at forming friendships.
After collaborating on a meal, we would sit down to a dinner party together every week. Everyone buzzed over how they are recommending this experience to all their friends and this is such a great group of people.
At the last class, a couple announced, with homemade cupcakes the wife had baked, that they were creating a WhatsApp group so everyone could stay in touch and keep cooking together.
They even printed out the QR code for the WhatsApp group, putting it by the exit, which the husband told me later was to lower the barrier as much as possible for sign-ups.
I watched as almost everyone in the the class came up to praise them on being so proactive and expressed how excited they are to be able to continue.
Only four people (out of twenty) joined their WhatsApp group. Only two (including me) have acknowledged or reacted to anything.
It honestly makes me sort of angry. And sad. As someone who’s hosted a lot and dealt with flakiness and last-minute cancellations, it’s a ton of effort to extend yourself to create a community and this isn’t the first time I’ve seen people just seem to not value it - while simultaneously expressing anguish at the collective level over how much they want community.