It is absolutely depressing to read all these heartbreaking stories from people who "made an escape" after being embroiled with the gender ideology crowd. It is almost the same story, and always different at the same time. Escaping the cult, unfortunately, doesn't always bring happiness. How can someone be happy after realizing what they have done is irreversible? Nevertheless, it takes a huge amount of bravery to look the truth in the face, and you are beyond brave to having put into words your truth. There is hope, so keep fighting. Your community (detransitioners and their families and supporters) is getting bigger and bigger, so you are not alone. Reach out for help, we've got you!