Very insightful comment; thank you for sharing it.

I disagree on one aspect: think men can opt out as well, though some of the costs for them may be higher.

Women who opt out run the risk of being labeled the way women who are willing to ask for and talk about what they want have been labeled for years: promiscuous, loose, and all the stigmatizing words we use.

Men who opt out face a similar risk (that used to be a much, much less troublesome risk): they risk being labeled predators or abusers of a sort. Used to be they would risk being labeled players, which is one of those part disapproving, part envious / admiring labels. The newer label is far more stigmatizing than player, but opting out is a choice, and at a certain point, you have to depend on your character cutting through the lights and noise of the virtue-crazed mob.