for fuck’s sake, Donny, pay attention while President Musk is talking

did elderly golfer fall asleep during his own shit-show cabinet meeting?

during Donny Convict’s first presidency, there was a ritual that kicked off every cabinet meeting. in a nauseating display of asskissery, each Secretary would try to out-do each other in lavishing over-the-top praise on Dear Leader. Donny would bask in it, pleased as fuck, with that smug, shit-eating grin on his face.

“The greatest privilege of my life is to serve as vice president to the president who’s keeping his word to the American people,” Mike Pence said, starting things off.

“I am privileged to be here — deeply honored — and I want to thank you for your commitment to the American workers,” said Alexander Acosta, the secretary of labor.

but that was then, and this is now. Donny’s current Confederacy of Sewer Clowns have upped their game. the first cabinet meeting of Donny’s second term started with a prayer. the Sewer Clowns literally thanked God for sending Dear Leader to Earth.

“thank you, God, for President Trump.”

excuse me, I just threw up in my mouth a little.

I mean, come on. as I have written before, Donny is what would happen if the Seven Deadly Sins became a real boy.

let’s run through the list: pride — yup. greed — you betcha. lust — just ask Ivanka. envy — no shit. gluttony — have you seen his waistline? wrath — ducked any ketchup bottles lately? sloth — the lazy fuck drives his golf cart right up onto the green.

but sure, for the sake of argument, let’s all pretend that Donny really is God’s Own Hand-Picked Avatar on Earth, and that the Big Guy Upstairs is totally down with all of Donny’s ass-hattery.

now, everybody be quiet. President Musk is speaking.

“I think this is the best Cabinet ever. literally. so, uh, and I do not give false praise... I think it’s literally the best Cabinet that the country has ever had.”

I think the Space Nazi is literally full of shit. let’s go around the table and check out this literal “best cabinet ever.” here we have the Fox News chat-show host with a side gig as an ahem alleged blackout-drunk sexual assaulter. there’s the woman who assassinates puppies for fun. oh look, it’s the science-denier who kidnapped a dead bear and stuffed it in the trunk of his car. now say hi to the reality show has-been in charge of air travel safety. sitting next to him is the Russian asset currently tasked with keeping our secrets secret.

see where I’m going with this? this is not exactly Honest Abe Lincoln’s Team of Rivals we’re dealing with here.

but I digress. why is the Space Nazi running a cabinet meeting? why is he even in the room? nobody voted for this guy. he has no constitutional authority to commit any of the clownfuckery he’s perpetrating — and yet somehow he’s become the most powerful person in government. it’s fucking maddening —̉ and un-American.

by the way, where was Elon’s kid, Crown Prince Snotwiper? he’s rarely not by Elon’s side these days, so what happened? did Donny banish him? did you know that after the kid went knuckles-deep into his own nose and smeared the results on Donny’s desk, Donny had the whole desk shipped out to be refinished? overreaction much?

but look what happens as soon as the Space Nazi starts talking: Donny either falls asleep or starts playing with his phone.

so disrespectful. Donny, your boss is speaking. do try to show some deference.

was Donny slumbering, or was he just watching that gross Trump Gaza video for the ten thousandth time? it’s hard to tell. but Marco Rubio, sitting next to Donny, does rub his nose and shift uncomfortably in his chair — so maybe the narcoleptic old fart factory actually was reprising his ass-music greatest hits.

hey, how can you tell when Elon is lying? noises are coming out of his food hole.

“we will make mistakes. we won’t be perfect ... so for example, with USAID, one of the things we accidentally canceled very briefly was Ebola prevention … we restored the Ebola prevention immediately. and there was no interruption.”

weird how these so-called “mistakes” happen on a daily basis. I guess that’s how shit rolls when you tell your posse of pimply teenage DOGE incels to close their eyes and swing their meat-axes every which way.

maybe if the incels had spent five minutes doing the most basic research before they started mass-firing people, all this chaos would have been avoided. oh wait, I forgot who I’m talking to. chaos is the whole point of this circus.

I know you’ll be shocked to hear this, but Elon was lying about having “restored Ebola prevention immediately.” that’s a big bowl of it never happened.

Current and former USAID officials said that Musk was wrong: USAID’s Ebola prevention efforts have been largely halted since Musk and his DOGE allies moved last month to gut the global-assistance agency and freeze its outgoing payments, they said.

now let’s check in on an epidemic right here in our own country.

a reporter asked for a comment on the rapidly-spreading measles outbreak in West Texas, and the Secretary of Dying From a Preventable Disease got to field the question.

Bobby Brainworms’ answer was an overflowing slop-bucket of what’s the big deal?

“it is not unusual. there are measles outbreaks every year.”

Bobby’s technically not wrong. there are measles outbreaks in the US every year. that’s what happens when you live in the dumbest country on the planet, where know-it-alls who’ve ‘done their own research’ decide not to vaccinate their kids.

but now we have a child dying from measles for the first time in a decade, because an entire Texas county did its own research.

here’s a fun chart. since 1963, when an an affordable and reliable vaccine was licensed, yearly cases of measles in the US went from about half a million a year all the way down to a rounding error away from zero.

want to see those number rise again? just stop vaccinating your kids.

but don’t worry, folks. the guy who caused a deadly measles epidemic in Samoa says it’s no biggie. happens all the time.

there’s a happy-ish ending to this story. worried parents are finally figuring it the fuck out, and lining their kids up to get vaccinated.

“People are more and more nervous” as they watch the highly contagious virus spread in their communities, mostly among children, said Katherine Wells, director of public health for Lubbock’s health department. “We’ve vaccinated multiple kids that have never been vaccinated before, some from families that didn’t believe in vaccines.”

it turns out that if the lesson is severe enough, even some cultists will learn from their mistakes.

but God’s Own Avatar on Earth, and his Confederacy of Sewer Clowns? not so much. they’re going to keep making the same mistakes, over and over — no matter how many people die.

“We’re all left trying to understand what is going on. Why was this meeting canceled? It's an important meeting. What’s the plan for flu vaccines this year,” Dr. Paul Offit, a member of the FDA advisory committee and director of the Vaccine Education Center at Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia, told CBS News.

sure, let’s stop developing new vaccines. what could possibly go wrong?

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here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.

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this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.