King Charles Downgrades Trump’s State Visit to Lunch with Prince Andrew
LONDON (The Borowitz Report)—In an abrupt about-face, King Charles III of the United Kingdom announced on Monday that he was downgrading Donald J. Trump’s upcoming state visit to lunch with Prince Andrew.
Instead of Windsor Castle, where the state visit was to be held, the lunch between Andrew and Trump will now occur at a Pizza Express restaurant in Woking.
According to royal sources, Andrew was “incandescent with rage” when his older brother informed him of the engagement, but the King told him, “Sorry, chap, you’ve got to take one for the team.”
After Andrew asked what he and Trump could possibly talk about over their pizza, Charles suggested, “Maybe you two can reminisce about your good times with Jeffrey Epstein.”
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Tower of London as a permanent visitor
Did you see the wardrobe war on Friday? I’m not talking about Zelenskyy, I’m talking about Vance.
When the group enters the Oval Office, JD is of course garbed in the costume of the day, blue suit with red tie down to his knees, but he visibly flinches when he notices that trump’s fly is open! You can see him start to reach out to tap donald discreetly on the shoulder, but then: he yanks his hand back, puts on that sheepish grin of his, reaches down and pulls down his own zipper.
Still, Vance must be fearful trump will realize that - this once - JD has had a fleeting thought that the donald could make a mistake … and banish him forever. Everybody in the theater knows, I think, except maybe Vance himself, that we may be approaching the “Et tu, phony hillbilly?” moment in the drama. Do you disagree?