Changing the Words on the Statue of Liberty
"What's this 'huddled masses' crap?"
Trump says US will sell $5 million 'gold card' to wealthy foreigners | CNN Politics
ANGELO: Have you two finished sand blasting off the original engraving on the tablet Lady Liberty is holding?
DANNY: I got the July 4 part off, but not 1776.
MANUEL: While he works on getting the 1776 off, I’ll go ahead and carve the January 20. I can do the 2025 when he’s done.
DANNY: How’s changing the plaque coming?
ANGELO: Slow. I don’t know why they won’t just pull the whole thing off and put on another one. It’s taking me for fucking ever to melt off the letters they want destroyed. Sara’s coming in tomorrow to start putting in the changes.
DANNY: They made us memorize the poem in school. I can still say it.
ANGELO: The hell you say.
DANNY: Yeah. Five bucks says I can recite the whole thing.
MANUEL: Hell, I’ll take that bet.
DANNY: Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,
With conquering limbs astride from land to land;
Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand
A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame
Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name
Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand
Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command
The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.
“Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!” cries she
With silent lips. “Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!
ANGELO: You owe him five bucks.
MANUEL: Damn! Say, what parts are they changing?
ANGELO: The first two lines are gone and replaced with “Like an Atlantic City Show Girl with million dollar legs.” Trump wrote that himself.
DANNY: Does the “Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand
A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame
Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name
Mother of Exiles.” part stay?
ANGELO: Most of it. I have to replace “Mother of Exiles” with “Five Million Dollar Babe.”
MANUEL: I bet Trump wrote that, too.
ANGELO: Yeah.
MANUEL: What else did he change?
ANGEL: You know the part that says “From her beacon-hand”? Well, beacon hand is changing to PCM. They were going to say “Portable Credit-Card Machine”, but PCM fits the rhythm better.
DANNY: I have to agree. Makes it easier on Sara, too.
ANGELO: Yeah. But I have to melt off the whole phrase
“Glows world-wide welcome;”. But Sara told me to leave the semi colon.
MANUEL: What’s the change?
ANGELO: It’s going to be “You can get your gold card.”
DANNY: Not “Five Million Dollar Gold Card”?
ANGELO: No. They think that with inflation the price might go up.
DANNY: So what else?
ANGELO: “Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,” becomes “Give me your business elites, your stock brokers, and your trust fund babies looking for a good time”.
DANNY: Do you leave all the “your”s?
ANGELO: No. Sara says they don’t line up right. I can leave “Give me your”, though.
MANUEL: How about the last part? What was it again?
DANNY: “The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”
ANGELO: “wretched refuse” becomes “Eurotrash”. “Homeless” becomes “bond holders”, “tempest-tost” becomes “Yachters”.
DANNY: What’s a yachter?
MANUEL: You know, one of those sail boat guys who sail yachts.
DANNY: Oh, right. How about the last line?
ANGELO: “I lift my lamp beside the golden door!” becomes “I lift my lamp to show the golden ticket!”.
MANUEL: Oh, so you and Sara only have to change “beside “to “to show”, and “door” to “ticket”.
ANGELO: Yeah. I’m just glad they didn’t follow through on changing Lady Liberty to Willie Wonka.