I'm 52 and never had kids, so I'm even less qualified to weigh in on what "young people" are doing now. In my teens I was reading zines like Flipside and Maximum Rock 'n' Roll, and I always read the scene reports, which had these esoteric local references but a commonality of insiders and inside jokes who knew their way around. Because there was no real scene where I lived in rural Pennsylvania, it was exciting to imagine what they were like. In my 20s I toured all over the US and Europe in various hardcore bands, and I experienced these scenes in person--and they were exciting!. They shared a lot of characteristics: a core group of "kids" that showed up for every show, a promoter or two, venues that would change year to year, a few good local bands, someone who took photos at every show, someone with a zine that would interview the touring bands, and so on. What was common to all those participants was existence in the *physical reality* of their town. You'd show up and someone takes you to a place to eat, a place to get coffee, the record store, the music store if you needed to repair your gear, a swimming hole in the summer--real local knowledge connected to real local places.

We're physical beings--and this ties into your "let's see them make small talk"--so I have to imagine these micro-scenes (in the grand scheme) had some durability and weight to them because they developed in a physical world. Someone could always tell you directions from the store to the nearest place to buy beer, and they didn't need to look it up on a phone.