Throughout history, many oppressed groups have been motivated to resist and become independent precisely because they perceived marked differences between themselves as a group and their oppressors as a group. The Ulster Scots immigrants to colonial America were one such group. They had been economically oppressed by English landlords in Ulster, and in the Carolinas the Ulster Scots fought fiercely for American independence. The flaw in your world view is that passionately identifying with a group is a natural human trait that was undoubtedly favored by natural selection. Such identification goes back in our evolutionary lineage at least to Chimpanzees, who have territorial conflicts between bands. Group identity and group conflict are facts of life.

In the modern world, what matters is the motivation and goals of the leadership of a nation or ethnic group. Those can be easily deduced if a person avoids mainstream news propaganda and studies history. The goals of the USA and Israel are what are "unhelpful."