If you're constantly overthinking, I think you SHOULD break up with him. I know a big difficulty with not growing up with a secure attachment style, you're constantly wondering if your feelings are coming from a place of avoidance, or if it's genuinely a problem. But I think there's a difference between the straight man tax, and someone saying off-color shit and then claiming to be a liberal. Him using pussy as an insult, and then apologizing because "I shouldn't be using that around you" and then saying or example, he was talking about secondary teachers and he said, "They're not really as smart as you would think they'd be. They’re really not interested in learning or critical thought. They're just blue collar, simple people." ...that's not great. At the end of the day, it's what the original commentaro said about her husband. It's ALL ABOUT RATIOS. There's something to be said about ambivalence, how ambivalence occurs when we go through so, so much pain, have avoidant attachment styles, etc. etc.
But like, imagine you weren't avoidant. Pretend for one second you're one of those magically securely attached people. Take the complicating factor of your attachment style out of the picture. Would you still be able to tolerate these flaws? Or is your secure self also someone who dislikes these tiny red flags? Just trust your feelings, OP, even though I know your feelings led you astray a lot in the past. If you continue to suffer and struggle and agonize, then break up with him. Maybe you'll feel regret and then agonize over whether you made the right decision. But just trust yourself--I don't think your eyes are cloudy here. I think they're perfectly clear, but then you dip your hand into a paint bucket of clouds and smear them over your gaze because you've been taught to distrust your gut feelings.
I could very well be wrong about all of this. Ultimately you're the one stuck with your emotional storms. But there's a difference between ambivalence and agony.