What really helped me put things in perspective was the book by Arlene Rosen Cardozo “Sequencing” written in 1986. It is a creative book about how to have it all ( what ever that is for you) but not all at the same time. As a dentist who put a great deal of time and effort into becoming trained, I was still able to honour having a family, marriage and a career. The male pattern of career building does not need to be applicable to all people and breaking those patterns is possible. I simply would rather die than not been able to bond and breastfeed my newborn and the idea that babies are ever separated from the mother is heartbreaking.