A strident narcissistic trait is to play victim in order to control the alleged “oppressor.” They also distort meaning and intentions for personal gain. White people are at their mercy when speaking to them. A notorious incident at an artist’s colony in the early aughts comes to mind, when a question that everyone asks everyone was asked of black writer Sapphire: How did you get in? Or something to this effect—commentary on the overall exclusivity— for everyone— she made a scene, all kinds of accusations, and basically did to this poor gay white male poet what was done to the subject of this essay. I’ve seen and experienced too much of this to trust them to act charitably in good faith. So goes the warning re narcissists in general: RUN!