I think it's time to strike up a conversation with our old pal % positive. He's never quite been as popular at parties as cases, deaths, and hospitalizations but he might still be languishing in the corner and nursing a red Solo cup of some nasty inscrutable substance.

But our other friend, PCR Ct value, seems not to even be at the party at all. I'm not even sure he was invited, and if he was, he's probably been ushered out the back by the hosts who are worried he might cause a big scene.