Wow. You just said it all and got me crying! I so relate to being "painfully uncomfortable around my favorite people now" and the sense that they have gone to a different place, like across the canyon you describe. I'm in ever-silent anticipation of some awful things to happen to friends and family, and have already seen such. They are oblivious. I'm wondering if the jabs affect peoples' brains? I know you are hurting, as are so many of us. Please know you have this great Substack family for support. I'd love a way we could all meet. I went to the LA Defeat the Mandates rally and there was such love in the crowd- I'm sure many Substackers were there! Maybe a Substack Writers Weekend, where we could all attend, meet and hear our fav writers and hang out together!