My husband and I talk about this all the time now. We fully recognize that we were privileged to be in a position to refuse - despite our extended family shunning us or the comments made by politicians, bosses (mine) and co-workers (mine again) or even children (two of ours). We were able to do this because we were on the same page intellectually and philosophically and neither of us were ever at risk for losing our jobs. I will be forever grateful to G-d for sparing us this particular "cup." I do worry incessantly about our children who did submit, both willingly and unwillingly.