To an extent, I don't think I have ever found "my tribe."

Even here, I disagree with others on things, and here, I think that is encouraged. Imagine that!

I think part of the reason you have made it through this is that you have never required vindication for your beliefs. In fact, you might find the whole idea of conformity to be "too much work" and not much reward. The mental gymnastics required to becoming "woke" or "well versed in the arbitrary and capricious rules" would be a bridge too far.

I don't think any of us could have predicted the abrupt change, and yet, we had already seen it. After all, our country was ruled by a Russian Colluding fascist for four years. Like you, I was constantly doing self diagnostic testing. "Am I crazy, what am I missing?"

I remember watching with amazement on the night of March 12th the run on grocery stores, the empty shelves where once there was toilet paper, and everyone crowded, indoors, to buy their food for the coming lockdowns. I was thinking even then "Do they not realize the virus has already been here for months, and yet here we are."

I came to the store for toilet paper, not out of fear of the pandemic, but rather, that toilet paper would run out. I went down the street to a CVS and oddly, they had plenty of TP.

Why did your life depend on you resisting? For me, I was already freelance, trying to make things work. I have no wife, no kids, so far less to lose than most. I didn't feel the social pressure as much as others, and because of the kindness of family through at least the first two years of the pandemic, I was not in danger of becoming homeless.

But I was at odds with most of my family. They did believe in masking and the vaccine. They were traveling fairly early on in the pandemic as a visible demonstration of that fact. They also work for government, so it was easy to do the math. Anyhow, I wish you well.