I think your comment about a man with a wife and children is a crucial one. So much of supposed "debate" these days seems to assume that people are not subject to mundane realities. Yet of course whatever the rhetoric in fact the vast majority of families rely particularly on the man's earnings and will embody the expectation that the males in the family will become independent so that that can then take on dependents when it's their turn. There is so much wittering about "choice" for women but this is actually built upon an assumption that they can simply please themselves without considering the needs of partners or children. As feminists point out women choose to group into a narrow range of occupations, while men appear in a vast variety of occupations. The latter including a huge roll call of essential but not at all pleasant job. I doubt men would do half of these if they felt they had a free choice rather than the constraints of reality and their role supporting their family. And of course this also means they cant indulge themselves if that it at the expense also of those who depend on them.