We’ve indeed made it undesirable to be a woman in the world differently from men and I think many of us have bought the lie that no difference exists between our roles abilities and modes of being. Gender ideology is responsible for a lot of this and comes out of this bad idea. It’s led women to be miserable working jobs they’d rather not in the name of elusive independence (from what? I don’t see work as freedom anymore). A woman once legit got mad at me for suggesting that women should be allowed to opt out of children but that we do still need to reproduce to keep the species going. She made the baffling argument that women aren’t required nor should they even be seen as the source of continuing the species even though we’re the only ones who can be pregnant. There’s a tension between individual choices and the effect on the collective. If enough women opt out, the economic consequences will be disastrous on all levels but no one seems to care. Part of this is that society has zero safety net for mothers and we have allowed the cost of childcare to balloon beyond reason, and feminism should be fighting for things like that instead of elusive individual liberation. Wanting to be like a man in a relationship was only a source of misery. And you are right that we both require men to coddle us while wanting to be like them; it can’t be both. The emotional terrorism I see everywhere is honestly baffling. We do expect to be treated like children and exercise empowerment from a place of disempowerment.