Autism is another example of an overly-broad diagnostic definition that provides little meaningful guidance. Thus no real help either in figuring out what to do. It's real, but really it is lots of things which may be very different, with different underlying physiologies and psychologies. Blaming is seldom an effective remedy. Information is more helpful. Having seen a number of friends and peers deal with children diagnoses as autistic, and seeing how very different the kids are from one another, it is no surprise that what works for one kid doesn't work for another. I can see the frustration, and the lack of real help they get from "the experts", who's advice is often completely inappropriate for their kids (but might work for some other kid).

What I've observed is the parents that ultimately realized they were mostly on their own in figuring out what to do have found effective strategies and the kids are doing OK. Best thoughts that you too can find a path to success and happiness.