"Truth being the first casualty in war" combined with "No battle plan survives first contact with the enemy" wisdoms do not spare anyone the reality of war winning: you have to kill more of them than they can kill of you.

While "killing" is open to relative interpretation and application, it remains that war is a "messy" business. Trying to avoid becoming the monster we fight is noble, a value to always bear in mind, representative of who we are (or hope to be).

But why do you think so many who have experienced actual bloody, up-close-and-personal combat don't like to talk about it? Our existential enemies do not intend to ever give quarter. Always bear this in mind even while attempting to remain "better than they are".