I don’t have a formal Substack up and running but hope to soon, so thanks for your interest. I didn’t do a good job in the above comment of connecting the behavior of child abuse survivors to Sam’s query, but the link is there. Humans do some perverse and terribly counterproductive things in response to trauma, whether that trauma comes from abusive parents or an abusive government. Perverse and counterproductive but with a real internal logic. At any rate, in light of your identification with my comment, I would recommend you read a book called “Reclaiming Your Life: A Step-by-Step Guide to Using Regression Therapy to Overcome the Effects of Childhood Abuse,” by Jean Jenson. The foreword is by Alice Miller, whose book “The Drama of the Gifted Child” will likely speak very forcefully to you. It is a must-read for us survivors. I wish you all the best on your healing journey!