Remains of the Gray
Some thoughts on Netflix’s latest lackbuster ‘The Gray Man’
In many ways, The Gray Man is the perfect title. Gray is bland. Gray is completely unmemorable. Gray fades. That’s roughly the review of Netflix’s latest movie. Hopefully, but not probably, the peak of pure ‘meh’.
To be clear, The Gray Man isn’t quite as mediocre as say, The Old Guard. Or 6 Underground. Or Triple Frontier.¹ Or the few dozen other films Netflix has made which are all the same general brand of unremarkable. But it is the biggest and glitziest thus far.² Thanks to the star power of not only Chris Evans and Ryan Gosling, but also the Joe and Anthony Russo — the brothers best known for directing a few of the highest grossing films of all time.³
Some of the action sequences are good. Especially some of the hand-to-hand combat stuff. But the plot and dialogue of The Gray Man are so contrived that it can’t get out of its own way. You get what they were trying to do (based on the novel of the same name): create a Jason Bourne film with some level of levity. But the Bourne movies are so much better at what they do than this.⁴ There, the seriousness amplifies the mood. Here, the jokes break tension where we need tension.
There are the obvious references to the other “JB” franchise as well. But this is neither as whimsical and stylish as the old Bond films, nor as bareknuckled and gritty as the new ones. Also a bit strange that Ana de Armas is playing almost the exact same character as she played in No Time to Die? Just more fully fleshed out. It’s just the weird blended kind of movie. Again, gray.
The Regé-Jean Page villain is comically opaque. HE JUST WANTS YOU TO SHOOT KIDS, OKAY? The Billy Bob Thornton character is comically cliched. The old mentor with a heart of gold — and naturally a niece with a heart condition. The last point less so to cause tension and more so to make it so there can be a plot point about tracking her via pacemaker. Okay.
The most interesting character is undoubtedly Dhanush’s “Lone Wolf” as he’s not explained at all. Comes in, kicks ass. Shows mercy. Leaves.
My favorite part is when Dani (de Armas) shoots Lloyd (Evans) in the leg with a tranquilizer dart as he’s pointing a gun at Six (Gosling). Six and/or Dani could easily kill Lloyd at that point and put the movie out of its misery. But no, it’s not even considered. And this is in line with much of the movie, which veers between wild indiscriminate killing to points where killing would actually make sense and yet doesn’t happen because again, it would end the plot too quickly.
Can we also talk about the use of the grenade gimmick multiple times here as well? ‘Gotcha! Oh no you don’t — pin drops — KABOOM!!!’ It’s like an old ‘Spy vs. Spy’ comic from Mad Magazine. Actually, that would probably be a better movie.⁵ Gosling as White Spy and Evans as Black Spy. These two do have chemistry, even if they wouldn’t be talking. I like it.
As with Bourne and more so Bond, there’s some good location porn here. But that too is probably overkill. Actually, ‘Overkill’ might be a good name for this movie as well, were it not so bland. Not so gray.⁶
¹ Here’s where I’ll admit that I’ve actually rewatched Triple Frontier a couple of times. In the background whilst doing something else. It’s a great cast! Decent mindless bro movie, but by no means good. What Netflix was going for?
² Red Notice is perhaps the equal in size and scope. And it’s actually similar in ways beyond the reported $200M budget. Most notably: it’s also decidedly mediocre!
³ Though to me, best known as the famous director brothers from my hometown of Cleveland, Ohio.
⁴ Yes, even the last one.
⁵ I also recall an old ‘Spy vs. Spy’ game for Nintendo (itself originally a Commodore 64 game) which had more intrigue than The Gray Man.
⁶ The ultimate violence: they’re threatening us with making a “Gray Man Universe”. A sequel and a spin-off. I’m not joking.
