Dynamic iSland

I’m gonna fly to Dynamic Island…

I’m gonna ride on my mind into the wind…

I’m gonna fly to Dynamic Island…

That’s the chorus to the hit song from 2007’s “Dynamic Island” by Owl City. Actually, no it’s not. There is no such song. Instead that’s… um, the name of a new feature Apple just unveiled for the iPhone 14 Pro.

I still can’t believe it. It simply has to be one of the weirdest bits of branding for a mass market product. Certainly one from Apple.

And while I often make fun of product names from the likes of Microsoft, this isn’t anything like that. It’s just so weird. I get that Apple probably didn’t want people calling it “The Pill” especially after they failed to get ahead of “The Notch” with the previous versions of the iPhone. But I mean, how about just “Dynamic Bar” or something roughly 200x less whimsical?

I’m not above having fun, it’s just bizarre! And yes, we get that it’s an area in an ocean of pixels out there on it’s own, but it doesn’t look like what most would consider an island to look like. And islands don’t typically expand — well unless the ocean around them recedes, but that’s not what the Dynamic Island does. It’s clearly a pill, or again, a bar. And maybe Apple didn’t want to invoke the infamous Touch Bar with such a name. But it is what it is. And what it is is not an island. It doesn’t even have a beach let alone a palm tree!

I need a tropical fruity drink.

Having said all of that… it looks like an amazing new feature! Apple typically does a pretty good job of at least trying to turn a negative into a positive (see also: highlighting the ever-increasing size of the increasingly ridiculous-looking camera bump on the back of the iPhone, which Apple now pans around to highlight in their promotional videos) and this has to be the best example of that yet.

We all knew (thanks to leaks) that the Notch was becoming the Pill. Well, actually we at first knew the Notch was becoming a couple Hole Punches for their front camera system. And more recent leaks suggested that Apple would do a very Apple thing and try to make these holes more aesthetically appealing by combining them with software. And even more recent leaks suggested they would use said software to their advantage by doing things such as using the black pixel area to showcase when the camera is recording and the like. But the — sigh — Dynamic Island actually goes far beyond that. Again, it expands to give you all sorts of rich and interesting information, much of which can be made actionable. It’s very clever! It’s very Apple!

That’s what was top of mind for me after watching Apple’s latest iPhone keynote address last week. An event which was actually held in person again. And indoors this time (unlike the last one which was mostly outdoors). But where they played a video all the rest of us saw online once again. And it was jam-packed. Not with surprises (nearly everything beyond perhaps the Dynamic Island had leaked), but with a lot of really rich content. At 95 tightly controlled minutes,¹ it’s hard to know if Apple will ever do on stage presentations again. Why risk the inevitable demo failures? Especially if you no longer have a showman like Steve Jobs to dazzle the crowd? We’ll see…

Ultra

Anyway, while it was an iPhone event, I actually thought the star of this show was the Apple Watch. With the new temperature sensing and crash detection features, Apple is truly morphing this device into not just a nice-to-have for many people, but in some cases a literally vital-to-have product. I know that had a few people up in arms when I tweeted it, but I really believe that. It’s not just marketing, Apple is saving lives with this product and it would certainly give me peace of mind to know loved ones had such a device in the moments you never hope happen.

It’s just impressive where Apple has taken this formerly wayward product. Credit to Jeff Williams and his team on that. And now that includes a whole new realm of activities with the Apple Watch Ultra.

I don’t mind this name, but I probably would have gone with something like ‘Apple Watch Extreme’ given the intended audience. Or even ‘Apple Watch Max’ given the size of the device. ‘Ultra’, of course, is a moniker Apple also now uses for the high end of their M-series chips. But this Apple watch isn’t any faster, it’s just bigger and more rugged. And while ‘Apple Watch Pro’ may have seemed too confusing given this isn’t marketed at professionals or prosumers, honestly maybe it should be? As I’m getting one!

I debated it for about a minute in my head as I watched them unveil this beast. I don’t do any of the extreme sports or activities that this watch is angled towards. But I love both the look and features of this Apple Watch. And I certainly love the battery life (compared to the “regular” Apple Watch).² And I use my Apple Watch so much (I’ve had every version since day one), that I want what I would consider to be the best Apple Watch, just as is the case with the iPhone. Now, you might say and rightfully wonder if this is the “best” Apple Watch versus again, one that is just geared towards extreme enthusiasts. And I did too. But at the end of the day, it has all the features of the Apple Watch Series 8 plus all this other stuff that could be fun and/or useful. So yeah, the debate in my head lasted a minute. I pre-ordered one. If it’s too insanely big, I’ll “downgrade” to a “regular” Series 8. But I suspect I’ll like it. Wild bands and all. Again, we’ll see!³

As for the other Apple Watch updates, the Series 8 sounds good, but obviously is largely the same as the 7. Temperature check and crash detection sound legitimately cool, but probably wouldn’t be enough for me to upgrade from a 7 personally. Again, a reason to try the Ultra. $799 is not cheap by any stretch — in fact it’s basically double what the Series 8 cost (depending on GPS vs. cellular). But it is cheaper than what was feared (and rumored) from Apple, given how expensive many of the main competitor watches from Garmin cost.

The SE is a legitimate upgrade with the upgraded chip. And I’m glad they removed the Series 3 from the lineup as it’s basically a relic at this point. That said, the move away from the $199 price point may be a slight mistake. It’s anecdotal, but I know a lot of people who buy the cheapest Apple Watch model for their children. I think this is a market Apple will want to continue to go more after (for parents peace of mind more than for the kids themselves), but the killer price point there would be $99. Apple seemed to be inching towards it each year, but now is going the other way.

AirPods2Pro

I thought Apple smartly angled this event as about the iPhone and products which are built around their flagship product. And so after the Apple Watches, we got the new AirPods Pro. These are probably my most used and loved Apple product beyond the iPhone itself. I’m using them right now. I’m always using them.

And the second iteration of the Pro version sound like they’ll have nice upgrades with regard to noise cancellation and the like. A lanyard loop! But it’s really more of an “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” type situation. The key new feature (beyond better battery life) will be the volume control. An obvious instant buy.⁴

Plus

The “regular” iPhone 14 got some nice upgrades, but the real story there is the move away from the “mini” model, and in the other direction, back towards “Plus”. I’m sure it makes sense from a pure sales perspective, but I’m sad to see the mini go — even though I actually never owned a mini. I liked the option of one day perhaps getting one if I decided I wanted a smaller phone for whatever reason. I like the simplicity of “small, medium, and large”. Now such a choice can’t include an Apple device, unless the Apple Watch keeps growing in size!

The other most interesting element of this segment was the stat drop: 3 trillion photos were taken with the iPhone last year. That’s insane. I remember when we used to debate if the iPhone was the death of the point-and-shoot. That feels like a long time ago. It was only a decade ago!

Apple killed the SIM tray for all new iPhone models, which is something that people who get up in arms about Apple killing anything may care about, but is where the world is headed. All new models are also now 5G, which is something Apple continues to tout but in day-to-day usage seems like a mild upgrade at best (when you’re in an area with “real” 5G) and actually worse in some cases (where 5G service is spotty, which seems often in my experience). It’s perhaps not quite an “all hat and no cattle” situation, but it’s close — several years into 5G. So I’m not surprised Apple is no longer doing “5G 5G 5G 5G 5G 5G 5G”…

The new satellite functionality, as had been rumored in the days leading up to the event — far out, indeed — seems great. Another one of those hope-you-never-need-it, but awesome peace-of-mind for certain situations, like the aforementioned Apple Watch features (worth noting the new iPhones have “crash detection” too). My main question: I was actually out Apple picking this past weekend, not on some mountain, just up in Napa, and there are actually a number of places up there with no service. Can you use this there in non-emergencies too? I assume so as we’re not clogging up emergency bandwidth, it’s just hard to lock-in signal and send large amounts of data to these satellites (yes, Starlink seems at least one step ahead here, and so they’re talking, apparently).

Pro

Apple did not bury the lede here. Dynamic Island is the focal point in the kick off video. And again, branding aside, it seems like rightfully so!⁵ Joz also kicked off talking about thew colors, notably how black got a bit blacker again with the return of “Space Black” (though many of us still clamor for “Jet Black”) and yes, as rumored, “Deep Purple”. The fact that the video didn’t feature this song is a miss.

VP of Design Alan Dye walking us through the Dynamic Island — I’m sorry, taking us on journey to Dynamic Island, obviously — showcases just how much thought (and work!) Apple put into this.

An always-on display. Hurray. And much like with the Apple Watch, which got the feature first, makes the new lock screen widgets seem even more important.

It was interesting how little time Apple spent on the A16 chip versus what they spend on say, the M1 and M2 chips in Mac keynotes. But it makes sense, as the upgrades are lesser leaps these days, naturally. So instead, Apple points out how far ahead these chips are, noting that everyone else is still trying to catch up with the A13 from four years ago. That feels like a claim that requires more explanation, and we’ll get it online, but probably not in the way Apple prefers. Still, it’s a good soundbite. Mainly I want to know why they’re still using the ‘Bionic’ naming scheme as there’s no ‘A16 Regular’ from which they need to differentiate.

Beyond Dynamic Island, the real marquee upgrade in this year’s iPhones Pro is clearly the camera system. After telling us for years that megapixels don’t matter, this year they matter again for Apple as we’re jacking them up to 48. All I care about is if the pictures — which always have looked fantastic each and every year — continue to look better in day-to-day usage. And what sounds like big improvements in low light should indicate that’s the case. The “biggest leap ever for the iPhone camera” is a bold claim!

It’s nice that the iPhone is staying the same price, even in our time of inflation across basically every other board (though that’s not the case everywhere!).

So What Cha Gettin?

This is the question I get asked each and every time a new iPhone appears, so I figured I’d just spell it out here — especially since I’m late to file this and the fact that Apple is launching the iPhone about a week early this year, so I’ve actually already pre-ordered! Here’s my order:

iPhone 14 Pro Max, 512GB, Deep Purple

I’m constantly torn on ‘Max’ versus ‘Regular’. This year I went with ‘Max’ mainly because the past two iPhone cycles I’ve had the ‘Regular’ version. I like the bigger screen, but I recall it being somewhat ridiculous to carry around in my pocket. But ultimately, I value the longer battery life. So we’ll see. Maybe I’ll “downgrade” to the smaller one if it’s too ridiculous.

This is also the first year I’m doing 512GB of storage. I’m actually still fine with 256GB for my iPhone 13 Pro, but I figured that between the new video upgrades and, of course, the 48 megapixel camera shots, I may want more space just to be safe.

AirPods Pro (2nd Generation)

Yes.

Apple Watch Ultra, Yellow Ocean Band

Again, per above, this is a somewhat controversial choice on paper since I am not the stated target market here. But in my head, this was a quick decision — at least to try it. Again, maybe I’ll “downgrade” if it’s ridiculous.

As for the Yellow Ocean Band — I’m weird. This is probably not the right choice for me. I have a history of ear problems where I’d be surprised if I ever dive below, say, 8 feet. Here’s how Apple describes the Ocean Band:

Ocean Band. The sea is calling. Molded from fluoroelastomer rubber, it’s lightweight and flexible. It has a titanium buckle and a spring‑loaded titanium adjustable loop that secures through the tubes for a hypersecure fit, even during high‑speed water sports. An attachable band extension lets you wear it over a thick wet suit.

The only thing I hate worse than diving is high-speed water sports. So yeah, great fit. But I’m also a huge Michigan Wolverines fan (my alma mater) and naturally I buy Apple Watch bands often to match my fandom. This yellow band seems close enough to Michigan’s “maize” that I’m gonna go with it. Again, perhaps a huge miss. But I’ve done worse. Maybe I’ll strap it over a suit jacket to impress the crowds?

¹ And we even got a post-credits scene! I’m surprised Apple didn’t do this sooner actually to again, turn a perceived negative (needing to record all of these product unveils in a COVID world) into a fun little positive. But this wasn’t exactly a “one more thing” product unveil, but rather a tease of their hit show Severance (which they also far more subtly teased earlier in the unveiling of the new AirPods Pro).

² Though yes, the “regular” Apple Watch will now have the option for much better battery life — up to 36 hours! — thanks to “low power mode”.

³ Two other concerns. First, that while older bands may technically work with the Apple Watch Ultra, they won’t work well. I have a lot of old bands. Second, that it apparently won’t fit on the MagSafe Duo charger. I actually love this thing (specifically for travel) and have a few of them. That will be annoying.

⁴ Free engraving is a nice touch, and as far as I can tell doesn’t change the delivery date, at least for day-one orders!

⁵ Here’s where I’ll also admit that maybe Apple is far smarter about this than my snark. I mean, everyone is talking about this name. Who cares how ridiculous it is, many people now just know that Apple has some cool new feature on the iPhone — as opposed to talking about the relatively muted upgrade cycle on a yearly basis.