Trump To Buy Yuga, Re-Brand As Yuge Labs

MIAMI — Yuga Labs’ recent trouble with the S.E.C. has the vultures circling.

Pugnacious former President and current opportunist Donald J. Trump is purchasing the suddenly-troubled asset and changing the company’s name from Yuga Labs to “Yuge Labs.”

“I’m the only one who is brave enough to take on those filthy, disgusting government swamp creatures and then lose in embarrassing fashion,” Trump said while doing that weird thing with his hands.

“Plus, my son Eric just loves those creepy little mutant guys. They look just like him.”

The Trump team is acting quickly, filing trademarks for a number of exclusive and restrictive trademarks that foreshadow major changes to Yuga’s most beloved projects.

It’s unclear at this moment if the BAYC collection will continue as-is or become the “Bored Ape Mega-Yacht Club” foreshadowed by today’s filings.

Yuga’s other collections, and their sub-projects, are all set to suffer from the Trump touch.

Two of the new trademarks likely won’t stick. Trump is hoping to re-name the Otherside as “The Upside-Down,” because he really liked Season 5 of Stranger Things.

He also wants to change the name of the mysterious “kodas” to become “Diet Coca-Colas.”

Trump at his latest rally.
Trump at his latest rally.

The rest of the proposed changes appear legally valid.

Meebits will become “Mini-me-bits.” In a corresponding update, the project’s artwork will be forcibly updated to an 8-bit version of Trump’s face photoshopped onto the figure of various shirtless male body-builders.

Punk6529’s nascent University in the Metaverse will become “Trump University 2: Electric Metaverse Boogaloo.”

And the project formerly known as CryptoPunks are now to be known collectively as “Cryptkeeper-Pelosi-Sucks.”

The final update will be to the BAKC project, which is now known as “RODKC,” short for the “Rosie O’Donnell Kennel Club.”

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