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Emotional Labor: The Invisible Work Shaping Our Lives and How to Claim Our Power Hardcover – March 28, 2023

by Rose Hackman (Author)
4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars 71 ratings
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“An urgent look at emotional labor....Hackman’s words reveal the agency of women is still possible while the power of care, empathy, and love in action can lead us to the best in our humanity.”
― Eve Rodsky, New York Times bestselling author of Fair Play

From Journalist Rose Hackman, a deeply-researched foray into the invisible, uncompensated work women perform every day―and a profound call to action.

A stranger insists you “smile more,” even as you navigate a high-stress environment or grating commute. A mother is expected to oversee every last detail of domestic life. A nurse works on the front line, worried about her own health, but has to put on a brave face for her patients. A young professional is denied promotion for being deemed abrasive instead of placating her boss. Nearly every day, we find ourselves forced to edit our emotions to accommodate and elevate the emotions of others. Too many of us are asked to perform this exhausting, draining work at no extra cost, especially if we’re women or people of color.

Emotional labor is essential to our society and economy, but it’s so often invisible. In this groundbreaking, journalistic deep dive, Rose Hackman shares the stories of hundreds of women, tracing the history of this kind of work and exposing common manifestations of the phenomenon. But Hackman doesn’t simply diagnose a problem―she empowers us to combat this insidious force and forge pathways for radical evolution, justice, and change.

Drawing on years of research and hundreds of interviews, you’ll learn:
· How emotional labor pervades our workplaces, from the bustling food service industry to the halls of corporate America
· How race, gender, and class unequally shape the load we carry
· Strategies for leveling the imbalances that contaminate our relationships, social circles, and households
· Empowering tools to stop anyone from gaslighting you into thinking the work you are doing is not real work

Emotional labor is real, but it no longer has to be our burden alone. By recognizing its value and insisting on its shared responsibility, we can set ourselves free and forge a path to a world where empathy, love, and caregiving claim their rightful power.

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Previous page
  1. Print length
    272 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publisher
    Flatiron Books
  4. Publication date
    March 28, 2023
  5. Dimensions
    6.5 x 0.95 x 9.55 inches
  6. ISBN-10
    1250777356
  7. ISBN-13
    978-1250777355
  8. See all details
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From the Publisher

Emotional Labor Rose Hackman

Emotional Labor Rose Hackman Ever Rodsky quote

Emotional Labor Rose Hackman Bernice Yeung quote

Emotional Labor Rose Hackman Chelsea Conaboy quote

Editorial Reviews

Review

"A well-researched exploration of why emotional work often disproportionately holds women and people of color back, and how exposing it can foster more equality in work and life."
― Inc., "The Best Books of 2023"

“An urgent look at emotional labor and its various intersections that many of us only recognize as entering 'womanhood' – that we should edit the expression of our emotions to accommodate and elevate others. She challenges that the invisible work of women is not only an expectation of society but also a burden that is impossible to sustain. Hackman’s words reveal the agency of women is still possible while the power of care, empathy, and love in action can lead us to the best in our humanity.”
― Eve Rodsky, New York Times bestselling author of Fair Play and National Bestseller Find Your Unicorn Space

“In this welcome and informative volume, Hackman gives us a bracing, wide-angle view of the many hidden theaters of emotional labor―at the kitchen sink, check-out counter, corporate meeting. Done wisely, emotional labor is a great gift to civilization we should all know about―intimately.”
― Arlie Hochschild, author of National Book Award finalist Strangers in Their Own Land and the New York Times bestseller The Second Shift

"Expertly blending case studies and statistics, this is a profound call for reorienting 'our fundamental value systems.'"
― Publishers Weekly

"This is an inspiring, infuriating study of the toll it takes on people when they’re expected to smile, while taking on more and exhausting responsibilities without getting paid more.”
―Library Journal, starred review

"As she critiques the neoliberalism that has given rise to an economic system built on invisible exploitation, Hackman issues a clarion call to rethink the true relationship between empathy and power. Hackman vividly demonstrates that this system encompasses both the domestic and professional spheres, affecting the lives of women across lines of race and socio-economic class...A thought-provoking and incisive book."
―Kirkus

"[An] enlightening book."
―Booklist

“Emotional Labor is a sharp, incisive exposé, a rallying cry that demands we acknowledge and value the hefty invisibilized work shouldered by the least privileged among us.”
― Bernice Yeung, author of Pulitzer Prize Finalist In a Day’s Work

"Hackman peels back the layers hiding the hard work of the heart that makes the world hum. A poignant call to action."
― Chelsea Conaboy, author of Mother Brain

“I will be distributing this book to all the people in my life. May this labor be seen.”
―Prisca Dorcas Mojica Rodríguez, author of For Brown Girls with Sharp Edges and Tender Hearts

About the Author

Rose Hackman is a British journalist based in Detroit. Her work on gender, race, labor, policing, housing and the environment―published in The Guardian―has brought international attention to overlooked American policy issues, historically entrenched injustices, and complicated social mores. Emotional Labor is her first book.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Flatiron Books (March 28, 2023)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Hardcover ‏ : ‎ 272 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1250777356
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1250777355
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 15.8 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 6.5 x 0.95 x 9.55 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars 71 ratings

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Rose Hackman

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Customer reviews

4.5 out of 5 stars
4.5 out of 5
71 global ratings
Thought provoking and packed with info
5 Stars
Thought provoking and packed with info
Really enjoyed this book. I dog eared and wrote notes in many of its pages. I appreciated multiple things in its content—including the research parts, the stories mentioned, the concepts themselves, and the ways in which both men’s and women’s roles were covered, as well as expectations placed on marginalized groups to carry emotional labor loads. I experienced many times of looking at things with fresh eyes as I read through its pages. The author also broke down complex topics in an easily understandable way.
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Top reviews from the United States

Sarah
5.0 out of 5 stars Such an important book!
Reviewed in the United States on April 21, 2023
Verified Purchase
This is an incredibly well-researched book on emotional labor. As a woman, I felt so many of my experiences reflected in these pages and things I was learning now come up constantly in conversation. I also encouraged my male partner to read the book and he’s having an eye-opening experience now that he’s halfway through. Last night in discussion on some of the research from the book he said, “I see emotional labor everywhere and I’m so much more aware of how I’m impacting others.” The second half of the book is by far my favorite - lots of research and lots of ideas to create a better world. I am literally recommending this reading to everyone I know! Thank you for bringing it into this world, Rose!!
6 people found this helpful
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JKH
5.0 out of 5 stars Thought provoking and packed with info
Reviewed in the United States on February 7, 2024
Verified Purchase
Really enjoyed this book. I dog eared and wrote notes in many of its pages. I appreciated multiple things in its content—including the research parts, the stories mentioned, the concepts themselves, and the ways in which both men’s and women’s roles were covered, as well as expectations placed on marginalized groups to carry emotional labor loads. I experienced many times of looking at things with fresh eyes as I read through its pages. The author also broke down complex topics in an easily understandable way.
Customer image
JKH
5.0 out of 5 stars Thought provoking and packed with info
Reviewed in the United States on February 7, 2024
Really enjoyed this book. I dog eared and wrote notes in many of its pages. I appreciated multiple things in its content—including the research parts, the stories mentioned, the concepts themselves, and the ways in which both men’s and women’s roles were covered, as well as expectations placed on marginalized groups to carry emotional labor loads. I experienced many times of looking at things with fresh eyes as I read through its pages. The author also broke down complex topics in an easily understandable way.
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Customer image
Customer image
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jaxx Morgan
4.0 out of 5 stars Worth a read …
Reviewed in the United States on April 29, 2024
Verified Purchase
This is an interesting examination of the metal and emotional load one can carry in a relationship. Gave me some things to really consider about my relationship and some new language to describe how I am feeling …
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amber
5.0 out of 5 stars Marriage therapist highly recommended!
Reviewed in the United States on August 2, 2023
Verified Purchase
I am marriage and family therapist and I recommend this book to nearly every couple that I work with. The author does a great job of explaining and calling attention to a nearly invisible- but very harmful- dynamic of most western marriages. As a therapist, it can be very challenging to watch many marriages succumb to this harmful relationship pattern, and this book helps people be able to see it and do something about it. I believe that this book will help many people experience, more satisfying relationship. It’s an important book for every gender, every love style, heteronormative, and lgbtqia + relationships.
14 people found this helpful
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Mitch D
5.0 out of 5 stars a must read for any woman
Reviewed in the United States on November 29, 2023
Verified Purchase
This book will blow your mind and suddenly your whole life will look different. You'll see the exploitation of emotional labor everywhere and it will make you crazy. But in a good way. Read it and open your eyes to why every woman in her 40s that you know is exhausted and furious.
8 people found this helpful
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Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars Enlightening and Impactful
Reviewed in the United States on May 7, 2023
Verified Purchase
Rarely do I read books that transform the way I view the world and my place in it-this was one of those books. It starts off defining what emotional labor is and then explains how it impacts our society-men, women, pay,etc...
I knew when I picked it up (the first copy I borrowed from the library and then I ordered it) that it would make me angry in the best way... Angry for the way that women have been shouldering the burden of emotional labor for millenia. The book helps empower women to see how their emotional labor is the foundation of our modern society. It also helps identify ways in which men can and must shoulder more emotional labor.
6 people found this helpful
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MBH
5.0 out of 5 stars Brilliant - everyone should read!
Reviewed in the United States on May 22, 2023
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Life changing book. I found myself nodding in agreement, infuriated by the accuracy of this inclusive, thoroughly researched book.
2 people found this helpful
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SimplyJaney
5.0 out of 5 stars Must read for EVERYONE
Reviewed in the United States on June 12, 2023
Verified Purchase
Rose Hackman is a true visionary and does her very best in teaching us all about Emotional Labor. I loved this book with my whole heart.
4 people found this helpful
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