Ramadan Reflections Ramadan Diaries Part 5

It's the last few days of Ramadan and tonight maybe The Night of Power. The Night of Power is sought. Muslims stay up, reflect, recite extra Qur'an in the last ten nights of Ramadan,. especially the odd nights. Some scholars say that the first revelation of the Qur'an was revealed and some say that this was the night The Torah and the Gospels were revealed. The Qur'an says it is better than a thousand nights. I have made it a tradition to take time off work the last 7 days or the last 5 days to be at home and so I can stay up and recite extra Qur'an or pray by myself Tarweeh.

I have done this for the last 15 years.Juggling a stressful social work job, fasting, looking after my sons and since 2018 running a part time business, it makes sense that I do this so I can enjoy the night of power and feel the portal open. I can feel the angels descending. There is something magical about this night. I feel God’s presence. I tend to pray fervently more so than any other night. I like to have a snooze after I break my fast so I can stay up later.

Not having to go to work the following morning really helps. I pray for so many things not just my family but world peace. In this day and age with so many wars going on, that makes sense. I pray for all the healers, the leaders, the heartcentered, the writers, the entertainers, the story tellers. I pray for mothers and fathers. I pray for the poor and the rich. I pray for the vulnerable and I pray for the strong so they look after the vulnerable. I pray for all the sensitive souls. I pray for each of us to understand each other and listen and see each other and hear each other.

To be seen and to be heard is one of the most beautiful gifts you can give to another human being.

I am realising this more and more as each year of my life passes. You see most of my life I didn't feel seen or heard, I felt misunderstood.

I am also realising to see yourself and hear yourself is very important not in a narcissistic way but to really love yourself unconditionally.

I am a high achiever and a high performer and I know we are very critical of ourselves. We are constantly wanting to grow, do better, be better, share more of our gifts, feel more responsible for so much and some what we are not responsible for. Sometimes we don't even acknowledge all we have achieved and we start taking it for granted. I know in these last few years I have achieved so much. Of course it is not by myself that I achieved it. I had mentors. I had my therapist. I had coaches. I had friends and I had family members. I had God. Especially in the tough times. In the times I wanted to quit. In the times of doubt. I don't know what the next year has in store for me. I have plans yes but God sometimes has other plans for us. I don't even know if I will be here next Ramadan. I have had friends die suddenly. I do know this until I die I will be seeking solutions, offering solutions. I have always sought solutions. I hate being or feeling hopeless. Depression is ok.. Feeling anxious is ok.. Feeling hopeless no..it makes you do desperate things. So this Night of Power, it may be I pray for those who are feeling hopeless and for God to give them some light in the darkness.

I know in 2025 I achieved something extraordinary.I became a best selling author. My book Dancing with Darkness available on Amazon is written for healers, heart centred leaders when they feel weighed by the darkness of others, the loneliness of leadership, it's a light leading to hope even in the most adverse of times and experiences. I am very proud of the book which I remember last Ramadan I was finishing doing the last touches. It is part memoir, part fiction describing some of my social work career and some of my questions that I have wrestled with.

I am going to stop writing now so I can go and pray and enter the reflective space within myself. I will leave with a prayer that whoever you are reading this, Muslim, Jewish, Christian, of no faith or another faith, that you find hope even in the most hopelessness.

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