It has been 5,475 since I lost my husband to cancer 15 years ago. I was 43. I normally do not count the days, but for some reason the 15 year mark made me curious to see how many days my children and I navigated life without him through thick and thin, sickness and health, good times & bad but also lots of joy, peace and grace in between. The capacity to love so much is what makes grief so deep.