Hegseth Attorney: She, the Woman from 2017, May Have Assaulted Pete*

*Pete Hegseth’s Attorney, Tim Parlatore, claims that the woman who accused Pete of sexually assaulting her and paying her to keep her mouth shut with an NDA, was, in fact, almost charged with assaulting him. See Video below with Jake Tapper.

I didn’t believe it when I heard it, but yes, that is the claim. Poor Pete, he was sexually assaulted by this women and could not say no? Even his mom, who wrote a brutal email to Pete about his mistreating of women, now supports him as she was coached to go on Fox and swoon over her son. “He’s a changed man!”, she said with a tear in her eye, as she attacked the press for repeating her own words. “How dare they use my own words against me?”

How the NYT got the email is anyone’s guess, but they didn’t steal it or hack it. That is not what they do. Either she or Pete must have forwarded that email to at least one other person who, well, you know, promised to keep it a secret. So someone out there felt compelled to send this email to the paper.

Getting back to Pete’s Attorney, he went on to blame the press, anonymous sources, the NTY, other media outlets for going after Pete. Jake Tapper asked him why no one was going after Marco Rubio and he just swatted that away saying that Pete was taking away the gravy train or threatening drastic change and was being smeared for this reason.

The reason the press, sources and coworkers are pursuing Hegseth’s history is that his history, as his attorney admitted, is spicy and active. Yep, just what we need in the Sec Def spot, a drunken, womanizing spicy boy in the Pentagon.

I hate to say it, but Ron DeSanctimonious is looking Pretty, Pretty, Pretty Goooood, says Larry David on Curb Your Enthusiasm.

#petehegseth