Patriotism test:

Is your political party almost entirely bankrolled by a Thailand-based crypto-billionaire who lives there to avoid paying British taxes?

Did your party leader take a £5 million personal handout from the crypto-billionaire, and not bother declaring it as a political interest?

Is the former leader of your Welsh party branch in jail for ten and a half years for taking bribes from the Russians?

Did your party leader encourage the UK to put social and economic sanctions on itself via a ruinous hardline Brexit, then seek German citizenship for his kids so they could avoid the restrictions he helped enforce on everyone else's kids?

Has your party leader mocked Welsh people as "foreign speakers"?

Does your party leader adore Donald Trump and keep on sucking up to him, even after he disparaged British service personnel? Even after he's repeatedly slagged off the UK and especially London? Even after he's economically attacked the UK with tariff sanctions? Even after Trump's goons have been plotting to end Britain's sovereignty over the Falkland Islands, so the US can divvy up the territory's vast mineral resources with Milei's Argentina?

Is your party leader threatening to revoke the workers' rights of British workers?

Does your party attract the support of Nazi-saluting goons, ex-BNP members, and the rest of the extreme-right scum who wish the Nazis had won WWII?

Does your party defend their right to lie to the British public?

Does your party repeatedly show absolute contempt for British laws and regulations?

Did your party's deputy leader set up a load of dodgy offshore shell companies in order to dodge paying £100,000 in Corporation Tax?

Was one of your party's Scottish candidates caught looting Covid "bounceback" loans to fund his (catastrophically incompetent) stock market gambling habit, and get a seven year directorship disqualification?

Do you love wrapping yourself in the flag and pretending to be a patriot, whilst supporting a foreign-funded right-wing extremist party that hates Britain?

If you answered yes to all of these questions. Congratulations. You're a plastic patriot. You pretend to love your country, whilst supporting people who despise it, loot it, and plan to systematically dismantle everything that's good about it.