The summer before college is often framed as a transition for students. But this week I have been reflecting about how deeply it transforms parents, caregivers, and families too.

There are the obvious logistical changes: move-in dates, shopping lists, financial planning, orientation schedules, empty bedrooms.

Then there are the not so obvious changes: transition can change routines, identities, relationships, and even the way we understand ourselves as parents. How do parents change as they watch their child/ren grow, adapt, change, transform right before our very eyes?

In the last ten years, much of my life revolved around caregiving rhythms that were distinct for each child. Some rhythms I barely noticed until they began to disappear when my bonus daughter left for college.

For those who have already experienced this transition: What surprised you most about who you became during the process of sending a child to college?

I was surprised at how I had to adapt from being a caregiver to a care observer? It’s the only name I can come up with because I still cannot name this role of caring for a young adult!