In an unhinged appearance with CNN’s Jake Tapper yesterday, Stephen Miller (aka Pee-Wee German) said, "We live in a world, in the real world, Jake, that is governed by strength, that is governed by force, that is governed by power. These are the iron laws of the world."

Given how tough-talking he is, I thought it was worth asking: How tough is Stephen Miller, really?

On June 17, 2018, Miller, a tireless cheerleader for wrenching migrant children from their parents, was dining at Espita Mezcaleria, a Mexican restaurant in Washington. Recognizing him from his sweaty performances at the White House podium, a fellow diner called out, “Hey look guys, whoever thought we’d be in a restaurant with a real-life fascist begging [for] money for new cages?”

Surprisingly, Miller didn’t take this opportunity to defend his beloved policy of family separation. According to a witness, he scurried away.

But Miller’s fear of restaurant patrons is nothing compared to his fear of chalk.

According to ARLnow, a site covering local news in Arlington and Falls Church, Virginia, Miller freaked out after peaceful protesters wrote a series of messages in chalk on the pavement outside his Arlington home, including “Stephen Miller is destroying democracy,” “stop the kidnapping,” we [love] immigrants,” “hate has no home in Arlington,” “no white nationalism,” and “trans rights are human rights.”

Miller called the messages “terroristic threats,” and, in an act of extreme chalkophobia, put his house up for sale.

So it turns out Stephen Miller isn’t very tough. Like his boss, Stephen Miller always chickens out.