The term “male loneliness epidemic” is unfortunate because 1) there is absolutely a major pervasive problem with how boys and men see the world which informs their (lack of) self esteem and their loneliness , but 2) the solutions put forth to “cure” this are manipulations and entitlements and control… and this stuff doesn't even WORK to help with male loneliness.

Men are lonely because they typically don't grow up being able to have close friendships and to express themselves in healthy ways. Women typically have this kind of thing though of course not always.

The emotional health of boys cannot be overemphasized. Generations (i’d argue many thousands of years) of men not being allowed to have emotions or to be safely close to others compound and compound as trauma, typically from other men before them (such as their fathers and uncles) who frowned upon being emotional.

This toxicity has built empires of damaged men who grasp grasp GRASP for power and legislate others’ bodies and rights and money…it is ALL a compensation and projection of their own feelings of inadequacy and loneliness and fear that they aren't addressing.

This world is reaching new heights of depravity under this setup. This is forcing people (such as myself) to become a generational trauma breaker or die. It's simply become untenable emotionally to bury THIS much trauma. Men can grasp and compensate, or they can see the truth. And once the truth is seen it can't be unseen.

I hate my truth. Because it isn’t mine. It was forced upon me verbally and physically. There’s me still in there trying to shed the trauma. But it’s so deep it keeps coming back harder every year. The hurt boy inside me needs help and I do the best I can. That’s all I can do.

This is a microcosm of society at large. It’s hurt, sick, damaged, and getting worse every year.

To accept this without liking it has proven to be extremely difficult.

I wish I could feel fine conducting my life the way those projectionists do. I wish I could feel better blaming women. I wish I could agree wholly with the way the world is. It would give me some (misguided and warped) sense of peace or comfort.

But that isn’t me. It's not in line with my values.

I don't have kids and I never wanted them because 1) I saw how my parents treated us and 2) kids are hugely unpredictable and the level of responsibility is much too high for me--I have a hard enough time getting through each day by myself. I don't even have a cat because i’m used to being the only thing that moves in my apartment--when you've had so much gaslighting and panic and dissociation, you need the safety of knowing there isn’t another variable in your apartment. At least I do.

I know only on other person who feels like I do in all this: my brother. The struggle of actually feeling not only loneliness but abandonment and having our nervous systems experience emotional flashbacks and hypervigilance and all kinds of other related psychiatric issues.

I’m not sure men who have all of this usually live this long. Passive suicidal ideation is rampant.

I don't want to become Anthony Bourdain.

But if men are going to help themselves through the REAL male loneliness epidemic, not the one that they yell about, they need to face great fears. And it is much easier not to.