My brother John.
Today is his birthday.
He is six feet, four inches tall. He has blue eyes and sandy brown hair that he keeps very, very short.
When John was about two, he was walking with our mother in the vegetable garden we had in our back yard.
She warned him not to eat one of the ripe red peppers because they were spicy, but when she turned her back to him, he was overcome with temptation and took a bite of the shockingly hot flesh. He cried.
He was a terribly shy boy. He hated having his picture taken, and in every school photo I have ever seen of him, he is tearstained.
He was about eight when our parents’ marriage disintegrated. Or, more accurately, exploded.
Somehow, even though there were three children in our family, it was John who was caught in the crosshairs of their vicious divorce.
They were hard on him, this young boy who was tall for his age.
I wasn’t there for the pepper. I wasn't born yet. It is a timeworn story retold over the years.
Like a moth to a sizzling hot fire, my mind is drawn to other memories; deeper, darker childhood scenes of humiliation and shame and rage. But just before I reach out a finger to touch the flame, my subconscious shrinks bank, and I’m left with only the smoky remnants of a vegetable garden.
As a teenager, he made all of our birthday cakes; Duncan Hines golden vanilla with chocolate frosting.
We were surprised when our gentle giant of a brother decided on a career in law enforcement.
But the day he crossed the stage and accepted his diploma from the Police Academy, I noticed something in his tender blue eyes.
I noticed the way the memories of a father who accused him of being weak and a mother who begged for him to be stronger swirled together like a snowstorm, until the flakes settled into a combination of power and pride and love and commitment.
I noticed how something that could have easily set him back instead propelled him forward.
My brother John.
The Picker-Upper of Broken Childhood Glass, Memory Keeper, Cake Baker, and Gentle Giant.
Every day he gets up, puts on his uniform, and strives for peace in the chaos around him.
He is the bravest person I know.
Please join me in wishing a very happy turn around the sun.
