There are hard transitions from work to home life in a lot of careers. But there is something about oncology that I still never seem to get used to.

There are times when I have a complex and emotional end-of-life discussion with a patient at 4:30 on a Friday afternoon, and then shortly after that I am carpooling 12-year-olds to volleyball.

Those two conversations are so far apart. Those two worlds are so far apart.

One moment you are with grief, fear, and uncertainty about what lies ahead for someone and their family. Then all of a sudden you are back in the car listening to girls talk about boys, being silly, and sorting through the small dramas of the day.

Sometimes the contrast feels surreal.

Part of that transition brings relief for me. There is something beautiful about being pulled back into the ordinary and the lightness of home life. But I still find it difficult to be fully present. I have not quite figured that part out yet.

What strikes me even more as I think about this is that patients and families have to make these transitions too, and theirs are often much harder.

They get devastating scan results or hear that treatment is no longer working, and then they have to go home and still figure out dinner. They still have to manage the ordinary demands of day-to-day life while carrying something enormous in their mind.

That part humbles me.

This is one of the most difficult things about this career that I did not anticipate when I started.

I am curious how others handle these transitions. For those of you in medicine, caregiving, or for patients and families who have lived this from the other side, what helps you shift back into everyday life after a heavy conversation? Are there things that make it easier for you?