BREAKING: Sources close to absolutely nobody have confirmed that ANTIFA is responsible for the Reflecting Pool disaster.

According to highly unreliable reports, ANTIFA operatives spent months tunneling beneath Washington, D.C. from the Potomac River using electric scooters and environmentally friendly shovels. Once inside the tunnel network, they allegedly emerged wearing aquatic blue camouflage specially designed to blend in with freshly painted reflecting pools.

Witnesses claim the operatives released thousands of highly trained "woke algae spores" into the water under cover of darkness while chanting diversity statements and carrying reusable shopping bags.

Experts nobody consulted believe the same ANTIFA cell may also be responsible for peeling paint, unusual cloud formations and jet streams, rising humidity, low approval ratings, and that weird noise your refrigerator makes at 3 a.m.

Investigators are reportedly examining evidence that includes a half-eaten vegan sandwich, a bicycle helmet with a "Go Woke or Go Broke" logo, and a copy of the Constitution with several passages highlighted and strange glyphs in the margins.

At press time, ANTIFA was also being considered a suspect in the sinking of the Titanic, the fall of the Roman Empire, New Coke, and the cancellation of Firefly.

The search continues.