I spared no effort for days of hard-hitting investigative research to uncover the truth behind the legends of self-made billionaires: did they really build it all themselves, or did they just stumble like drunken gnomes into a pot of gold? Well, what can I say…see for yourself. They really do everything on their own. Here’s a glimpse into a day in the life of a self-made billionaire; i got exclusive insight:

• 10:00 AM – Wake up, mumble into iPhone with an important voice: “I only slept four hours, work never stops.”

• 10:15 AM – “Check” emails (assistant reads them out loud, billionaire nods or shakes head).

• 10:30 AM – Important breakfast with important people at a five-star hotel (“We need more hustle mindset in society!”).

• 12:30 PM – Ride in the Maybach to the first “meeting,” posting inspirational tweets about discipline on the way (“Why is nobody working hard anymore?”).

• 1:00 PM – Meeting with private equity investors, barely listen, but say “Absolutely!” a lot.

• 2:00 PM – Lunch with an important politician, complain about “excessive bureaucracy holding entrepreneurs back.”

• 3:30 PM – “I need a break!” – 90-minute massage in the penthouse suite.

• 5:00 PM – Helicopter ride to a factory for a “surprise visit,” stay five minutes, post a photo wearing a hard hat on Twitter.

• 6:00 PM – Interview with a business magazine: “I built everything myself.”

• 7:30 PM – Dinner with tech founders, randomly saying “AI will change everything!” every other sentence.

• 10:00 PM – Short meditation on the private jet: “Sometimes I wonder if all this striving has meaning…”

• 10:30 PM – After-dinner drinks on a yacht, drunken rant about socialism.

• 1:00 AM – Answer last emails (meaning, dictate them).

• 2:00 AM – Go to bed – but not before tweeting: “While you sleep, I work!”