A question for the women in this stretch of life — midlife, perimenopause, the middle passage, whatever you’ve been calling it.

On your lowest days, in gardening terms: do you feel you’re dying back — something ending, going dark, a season turning — or withering — simply failing, drying up, too late?

One word or a whole paragraph, mis amores, I want to know. I asked a handful of friends this same question and every single one of them answered the same way, without hesitating. I have a feeling about why. Tell me yours.