Behavior curious: When good people freak out (1-2 min)

Trauma responding is real, and sometimes imperceptible as such. Self example:

Opened the app after recent harassment. Encountered new aversive stimuli. Immediately did and said a flurry of things to escape it. Posted, sent messages, “nervous system on fire,” I said to a commiserating follower, as I doubted a friend. Then, functionally unrelated, I snapped at the person beside me who asked about dinner. 😞

How do you know when it’s too soon to come back after having an aversive experience?

Your body and behavior tell you.

Lots of us say “nervous system,” as a shorthand for all the feelings and behavior to which we’re referring. But it’s more than that. It’s our whole person reacting to something we didn’t want to experience, in a moment that ever-so-slightly reminds us of it in the present—and, to most other people looks nothing like the traumatic event itself. Thanks a lot, stimulus and response generalization!

One helpful thing about understanding my reactions to be a “normal” instance of the basic learning process generalization, it allows for compassion. I wasn’t “overreacting” or “in a bad mood.” It was an instance of generalization after an experience that caused me great distress. The same process that allows us to learn quickly keeps some of us stuck. Offer yourself self-forgiveness for trauma responding, even if others can’t understand it as such.

Sit it out a bit longer. It’s okay, self. These effects will gradually subside with every instance of positive reinforcement under these conditions.

(Another note that most would consider an article, but I have my reasons.)