I was denied a job.

Because I refused to be available outside of working hours. Even though my work experience was “an exceptional fit for the role”.

• The demand to prioritize your work above your family life and health, dressed up as “going the extra mile” is ridiculous, yet completely normalized. We sign a contract to work x hours, yet are expected to work an undetermined amount of hours for free.

• I can’t help but feel I was discriminated against because I am a mom with a young kid. Every day, the time after I pick up my kid demands 120% of me (meltdowns, food on the floor, never-ending bedtime, homework, prep for the next day).

• Not to mention all the volunteer work for the school and the occasional “study day” where schools are closed. My days are filled to the brim, even on the weekends. How do I produce any extra time to “go the (unpaid) extra mile”, when I forgo breakfast to make sure we make it to school and work on time?

I have set up my paid tier on Substack. This is my declaration to myself: let’s build a life I want to live.

This is the first step I want to take. Not because a paid Substack replaces a salary (it doesn’t, not even close), but because I'd rather build something small that's mine than keep proving I'll take calls at 9pm.

My essays will stay free. Each month, paid subcribers get:

• Editorial feedback on one piece of your own writing

• Fifteen minutes on a call with me — writing, burnout, living between cultures, whatever you're currently in the middle of

• The occasional post I write only for paid subscribers. Rougher, more intimate than the essays. Things I'm still working out, or that I don't want to say to everyone.

This won’t be my final offer. I would love to hear from you what you think would be worth your money.

Thank you all so much for being here.

Love,

Tee