USS Ford: Final Farewell from the Red Sea

The mighty USS Gerald R Ford is finally limping out of the fight, heading to Crete for repairs after the laundry fire scorched berths, injured sailors, & left morale in the toilet (literally).

Nine months at sea, clogged vacuum systems forcing endless lines & overflows, a 30-hour blaze turning sleeping quarters to ash, & now the world's most expensive warship sails away with burnt bedding, smoke stench, & disgruntled crew sleeping on floors.

Meanwhile Trump declares "ultimate victory" over Iran, boasting that the regime is "totally defeated" & "obliterated." Yet America's crown-jewel supercarrier retreats to a Greek island for plumbing & fire fixes while Iran keeps up barrages & chokes the Strait of Hormuz.

Fully operational? Only if "operational" means fleeing to Crete while the enemy fights on & oil prices spike. Peak 2026 readiness: defend democracy from a floating repair yard while the Commander-in-Chief claims total triumph.

Adieu, Ford. You gave us endless memes, morale craters, & zero glory. May your plumbing forever clog in retirement. 😉