“look what you made me do” is classic abuser’s language. it’s your own fucking fault that I went ape-shit on you. that’s the attitude Republicans took on the Sunday shows, as they explained how it was Zelensky’s own fault that he got ambushed and tag-teamed by Donny Convict and Couchfuck McGee: look at what he made them do. he should have shown deference. he shouldn’t have talked back. he shouldn’t have been dressed provocatively. he shouldn’t have been walking out alone late at night.

the entire world was rightly horrified when Donny Convict and Couchfuck McGee ambushed and gang-assaulted Volodymyr Zelensky in the White House on live TV. leaders rushed to put out statements. Justin Trudeau was unequivocal: “Russia illegally and unjustifiably invaded Ukraine.” check out our boy Emmanuel Macron: “there is an aggressor: Russia. there is a victim: Ukraine.” here’s Germany’s Friedrich Merz: “we stand with #Ukraine in good and in testing times. we must never confuse aggressor and victim in this terrible war.” Republicans, however, apparently live in some shit-show alternate reality where up is down, black is white, and stabbing our allies in the back is some supreme act of statesmanship. the chittering squirrels on Fox & Friends were actually ready to hand Dear Leader a Nobel Peace Prize.