the wounds in our hearts

seem to ache a little deeper

during the holidays

~

don't feel like you

need to cover your wounded

heart in wrapping paper

this Christmas

~

you don't have to

tie the corners

of your lips with

garland to force

a smile

~

you don't have to

keep whistling

"silent night" to keep

people from noticing

your bottom lip is trembling

~

you don't have to blame

an allergy to nutmeg

for why you are walking

around with tears in your

eyes

~

for this Christmas

give yourself

permission

to feel whatever you

need to

~

last night

I was visited

by the ghost

of yuletide Heartbreak

~

she told me this:

it's okay to not be okay

on Christmas

~

it's okay to be melancholy

under the mistletoe

~

it's okay to come apart

while they are caroling

~

it's okay to trace your

scars with your fingers

while others are

humming ‘Holy Night’

~

it's okay to miss the

presence of your beloved

amid the sound of opening presents

~

it's okay, my love,

to hurt during the holidays

~

don't stuff your stockings

with your suffering

~

don't hide your healing

during the holidays

~

give yourself the gift

of being authentic to yourself

~

it's okay to not be okay

during Christmas

~

it's okay to let the broken

pieces inside of you

be the only

jingle bells you hear

~

because, my love, because,

it means you are still fighting

to stay alive

~

and I can't think of anything

more to celebrate than that

~ john roedel