The masked man came from the right, completely bypassing the checkout line. He brandished a gun. “Hand over the cash or I’ll give you an acute case of plumbism!”

The cashier blinked at him. “Huh? The plumber’s already been to my place. I had a clog that almost blew the pipes.”

Before the gunman could reply, a young woman near the front of the line spoke up. “I think he’s saying he’s going to force you to eat plums—probably until you’re a permanent fixture of your bathroom.”

“Aw man, then I’d have to call the plumber again.”

"Yeah, but you’d get a proper flow through your intestinal plumbing.” A young man further down the line chuckled. “Trust me. Once you add prunes to your diet, you’ll—”

“Stop talking!” The gunman shook the weapon at the cashier. “That’s not what I meant. If you don’t hand over the cash now, I’ll give you lead poisoning!”

“Were the plums grown in leaded water?”

“Drop it.” A police officer appeared behind the gunman, his service weapon against the criminal’s back.

The gunman relinquished it, and the store cheered.

All except for the cashier. “If he was threatening me with the gun, why was he talking about plumbing?”