“I am four months away from an election in which I am already doing pretty well and even my enemies have to agree that I am a serious challenger. My opponent is clearly infirm and his party are now bitterly divided as to whether he should even stand. I will however ask a gunman to shoot at my head with the infinitesimal chance of hitting my ear, kill an innocent bystander and then in turn have him assassinated. This will lead to a theoretical number of people to vote for me four months from now.”

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3:38 PM
Jul 14